Die Kinder

Well, I am falling in love, and all it took was a couple of weeks. The first few weeks were extremely difficult because I did not know what my role as a nanny should look like...should I try to play the role of a parent, should I be a friend, should I be the cool-fun one that everyone loves all the time? I finally decided on the older sister role; I have always wanted younger siblings (especially brothers), and I figured this is the best way to lead the kids while still having fun with them.

The three kids here took awhile to warm up to me, and for awhile I thought they never would. There were several days when I struggled to see my purpose here, and I questioned God's reasons for bringing me to a place where I had no chance of making a difference. He quickly reminded me my only purpose for being here is to love these children because they need it desperately. Just as quickly I have begun to see the kind of love that God must have for me.

Frani only talks to me when she wants something...yet I still have a heart for her, and I am constantly pursuing her. (I imagine this is what God must feel like when I pray to him only when I want something.)

Ben has an extremely unpredictable behavior, and is usually angry for no reason...yet even when he is cussing at me, I love him and think he is great. This is the kind of love God has for all of us because we are constantly cursing him when he only wants to show us love.

Josh is somewhat fickle...for example: this morning we were walking to the school house, and he gave me a big hug before he went to class. Then, the moment he got home he told me we weren't friends anymore. Clearly this is an example of my fickle relationship with Christ.

I am just amazed that through all of this I absolutely love these kids; they make me laugh, they teach me German, we just hang out together, and we are starting to become like family. (I just hope I really am like the cool-fun older sister in their eyes, and maybe they will be able to see God in me.)

The other day someone at church told me that if you want to hear God laugh, tell him the plans you have for your life. I think God is probably getting a kick out of my life right now because I never would have imagined I would be spending so much time with kids; I am a full-time nanny, I coach a little girls soccer team (that plays in the boys league), I am a youth group leader at the church I go to in Zurich, ha, and I am even taking German classes with a group of mothers, so there are kids at the classes every week. I don't know what God is up to, but I am enjoying hanging out with kids so much...they are great!

The Hike

Last saturday I had the greatest idea...I was going to hike to the top of Mount Pilatus, which overlooks Lake Lucern. The website I was getting directions from said the hike to the top was only about two hours, but that most people took the gondola to the top. Being the competitive person I was I scoffed at the gondola as I walked past, and I started my hike to the top.

An hour and a half in, I was only about a third of the way up the mountain, and I thought, "Gosh, I must be really out of shape." Finally, I walked by a group of four Swiss people who asked me if I was going to the top. I answered of course, wondering why anyone would ask such a silly question...Who wouldn't be going to the top? Then, I asked how much long it would take, and the kind Swiss man said it usually takes about five hours. I laughed at myself for thinking I could climb to the top in just two hours, and was a little discouraged since I had to be at a bbq at 6:00pm. Since I had already passed the gondola, I was worried that I would not make it to the top. Luckily for me, the gondola had several places where I could board on the mountain.

Once I finally made it to the top, the view of the Alps was breath-taking. I had to keep looking down because I was so overwhelmed by the beauty. I was looking out, and I realized that yes I can hike this mountain...it may take a long time, and I will probably get there a different way than I planned. However, there is unimaginable beauty at the top.

I hope to do the same hike in the Spring, but actually start earlier so I can hike the entire mountain.

What does it mean to be a servant?

Learning the meaning of being a servant is not easy. There are tasks to be done everyday that are a part of a servant's job. Cleaning, cooking, and care-taking are just a few of what servanthood is composed of...then, there are the other tasks that are asked of you daily. The tasks are not noble. In fact, the only reason you are being asked to do anything is because no one else will. You are serving others; taking care of their needs and wants, ignoring your own. A servant takes all of the tasks and tries to do them joyfully, and also tries to complete the tasks beyond the expectations of the one asking. The hardest part is that there is more than one asking.

Looking at my life now, I wonder if I am really serving others. Let alone my life before now; I am not yet humble enough to truly be a servant to others. The hardest question to ask one's self is...Are you God's servant unless you know what it means to be a servant?

If God has given me daily tasks and asks me to do other tasks as well, even if those tasks are not noble, would I complete them joyfully and humbly? Would I even complete the tasks at all? Until I can answer these questions with confidence, I will try to learn what it means to be a servant.

Feierabend!

Pronounced (fire-a-bin). It means freedom from work. Rich, says it everyday when I am finished with the kids. He says, "Feierabend. You may go."

To Rich, freedom is being away from his kids. For him, feierabend translates to isolation, and he creates this for himself every night when he goes to his apartment after the kids are asleep.

Whenever I hear him say this I think of the night we went to Feierabend in Seattle, and we shared Das Boot. For me, freedom is not living in isolation, but living in community. It is sharing life and joy with those around you; it is sitting around a table, laughing, and passing a two-liter boot for everyone to drink from. (Okay, I would never do that with the kids.) However, I find freedom in sharing life with them.

Now that my home is in Rupperswil, I am away from the greatest friends on earth. I am trying to build a community here, but children can be fickle when you do not allow them to have candy all the time. I have to continually remind myself that I was in a similar place of trying to build a community when I went to Seattle, but how God blessed me there! Feierabend, I will find you again.